What if I said
by Vashette
Summary: After a brake up with Gourry, Lina and Zel realize thier true feelings, but do they have the courage to face them? Warning: sappy songfic! There aren't enough Lina/Zelgadis fics out there. Please R & R! I want feedback (positive and negative)!


Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters I used in the story. Thanks to the wonderful creator of The Slayers I have a story! I don't own "What if I Said" either.

Notes: 1.) Some of the genders in the song have been changed to make the story make sense. I have put the actual lyrics in the parentheses.

2.) {…………} = Lina's thoughts

3.) [………...] = Zelgadis' thoughts

4.) Song is separated off by spaces

WARNING! (again): Sappy songfic ahead!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

We've been friends for a long long time  
You tell me your secrets and I'll tell you mine  
He's (She's) left you all alone  
And you feel like no one cares  
But I have never failed you  
I've always been there  
  


"Lina, we have to talk," Zelgadis watched as a tall blond swordsman took a petite redhead away from the table.

            "What is it, Gourry?"

            Zel squirmed around in his seat to try and see what was going on. "I'm sorry. I just can't go on like this, Lina."

            "What do you mean?" Zel watched as her eyes filled with tears. He clenched the fist that wasn't holding on to his coffee mug. How dare anyone make his Lina cry.

            "Lina, I'm in love with Sylphiel. I plan to marry her someday. I can't pretend I love you anymore, it's just not right." Gourry walked away and sat back down next to Sylphiel. Zelgadis turned around to see Lina run off. His demon hearing could hear her tears hitting the floor.

            "I have to go. I'll see you in the morning," he said harshly. He quickly got up and chased after Lina. [How dare Gourry hurt her]

You tell your story  
It sounds a bit like mine  
It's the same old situation  
It happens every time  
Can't we see it oh maybe you and me  
Is what's meant to be  
Do we disagree  
  


            Zel had caught up enough to see the door to Lina's room slam shut and hear the door lock. [Should I knock?] he thought to himself. [She's probably really angry, so I guess the question is do I want to be fireballed?] He knocked.

            "Go away!"

            "Lina, it's Zelgadis. Let me in. I want to talk to you," he said while banging on the door.

            {What does he want? Oh no! He wants to leave again. Now I'm going to loose both of them.} The tears came faster now. {I can't let him see me cry.} She tried to push them back, but it was no use.

            "Lina? I'm coming in, get out of the way!" Zel turned so his shoulder faced the door to Lina's room. He backed up and charged at it. The door fell. Lina turned around to see her friend standing in the doorway with a wood plank at his feet. She tried to smile and laugh.

            "I hope…you…realize you're…paying for that…" she managed between sobs. Zel laughed then walked over and sat on the side of the bed beside a crying Lina.

  
What if I told you what if I said that I love you  
How would you feel what would you think  
What would we do  
Do we dare to cross that line between your heart and mine  
Or would I lose a friend or find a love that would never end  
What if I said  
  


            "Shh…It'll be okay." [Maybe I should tell her.]

            "No it won't! I loved him!" {Did I?} Zel moved in closer and offered a hug. {Is he doing what I think he's doing?} "Um… Zel?"

            "Hm?" Zel realized what he was doing and instantly turned a bright shade of red. "Sorry, I…uh…I'm going to leave you now. Will you be alright?"

Lina nodded. "Thank you."

"Good night." Zelgadis quickly got up and backed out of the room, fitting the door back in its place as best he could.

{What is this feeling? Suddenly I don't care about Gourry. Come to think of it, lately I've been spaced out when I'm with Gourry like that. Could I be…? But even if I am, it's not like he feels the same…} She starting crying harder again.

Zelgadis leaned against the wall by the door listening to Lina weep. [Damn it! I should have told her. It would have put her out of her pain to know someone cared for her like I do.]

  
She doesn't love you oh it's' plain to see  
I can read between the lines of what you're telling me  
  


            Just then Amelia came skipping down the hallway. There you are, Mr. Zelgadis!"

            Zel didn't move. He just stood firm looking really upset with himself.

            "Mr. Zelgadis?"

            "Huh? Oh! Come on Amelia. Let's get you to bed." Amelia nodded and took Zel's arm. He cringed slightly, and they walked off.

The next morning at breakfast everyone was silent, well, mostly everyone. Zel and Amelia were talking about justice and Lina and Gourry were stuffing their faces as usual, nothing of the night before was said between them. Sylphiel was shaking her head at her friends un-human like way of eating.

            "Amelia? Are you even listening to me?"

            "What? Oh! Yah! Of course!" Zel couldn't stand it. [Why'd I even bother asking? She's not listening to me. She's focused on that blonde guy at the table next to the others.]

            "Whatever…" Zel focused himself on his coffee and spaced himself out form the world to think things through.

She (He) doesn't hold you the way a (wo)man should be held  
How long can I go on keeping these feelings to myself  
  


            "Bye Mr. Zelgadis! See you later!" Amelia said giving him a quick hug. Lina winced. {There's no chance in the world he could care for me; he's got Amelia. She's way more of a woman than I'll ever be.}

            When they got outside the hotel and a little down the block Amelia turned to Lina. "I know we were supposed to spend girl time together today but there's been a change of plans. I'm meeting that guy from this morning for lunch and a play."

            "Pardon? If Zel finds out he'll kill you," Lina told her friend.

            "Miss Lina, I've realized Mr. Zelgadis is just a dear friend and a big crush. I spent time with this guy and he actually talks back. I have found true love!" Amelia did an awkward little turn and gave Lina the "justice thumbs up".

            "Is that so?"

            "Uh huh! It is unjust to tell lies, Miss Lina."

~*~*~*~Meanwhile~*~*~*~

            [I have to tell her! It's like I'm going to burst. But, she would never be able to love a monster like me.]

  
What if I told you what if I said that I love you  
How would you feel what would you think  
What would we do  
Do we dare to cross that line between your heart and mine  
Or would I lose a friend or find a love that would never end  
What if I said  
  


            Just then Gourry came up behind Zel and tapped his shoulder. "What's wrong Zel?"

            "Huh?" Zel said turning red. "It's…uh…nothing…"

            "Come on, I may have the brain of a jellyfish but I definitely know when something's bothering someone. What's on your mind?"

            Zel looked a little surprised. [Gourry?] "Well…you see…I…uh…have this friend, and he really likes this girl, but there's someone else he doesn't want to hurt the feelings of, but this other girl is like his everything and-"

            "This isn't about me is it?"

            "No, but anyway…he can't stand to see this other girl hurting and lonesome, but he's afraid."

            "Tell your friend to go for it. What's the worst that could happen?"

            "She might think he's hideous…"

            "She doesn't"

            Zel blinked, "What?"

            "Girl number one is Lina, right? And this guy is you, and the girl in the way is Amelia."

            Zel groaned. [Great…]

            "You see, I felt really bad last night so I went to Lina's room. She told me what you did. She told me she realized she only loved me as a brother and thought I'd be leaving her forever to be with Sylphiel. She said she was sorry she had lied to me. I told her I did the same and I'd always be her protector. She then told me she realized it was you she loved and was only trying to get you jealous.  After that she cried telling me she didn't think you'd ever love her and you were only being nice earlier. Oh, and Amelia doesn't love you anymore."

            "I knew it! That guy at breakfast had her totally hooked!"

            "She was talking to him after you left. I heard part of their conversation, she's with him now."

            [Gourry, if you're lying I'll haunt you until the day you die…]

  
Oh we've both had our share of loneliness  
So whose to say that we can't have a little happiness  
And if I found that in you  
It would make my dreams come true  
Or would you walk away  
Hear what I have to say  
  


            That night at dinner Zel took Lina aside, "I want to talk to you," he saw her eyes filling wit tears as he spoke. {Not him too.} "Lina, I've been thinking about this for a while now," He knew he was going to hate himself for this but it was the only way he could think of to find out if Gourry was lying that wouldn't cause him pain if things didn't go right. "I have to leave you. I need to find my cure." Tears were running down Lina's cheeks. 

{Why? Can't you see I love you, Zel? You can't leave!} 

[I can't believe I'm doing this.]

Lina took off. "Lina, wait! Come back! I'm not done yet!"

"Mr. Zelgadis? What do you think you're doing?" Amelia said. She had looked up from her dinned with "Mr. Perfect" to see Lina run off and leave a trail of water behind her. "Where's Miss Lina going?"

"I didn't mean to! Look. She left without me finishing!" Zel hissed. Then he dashed from the scene to find himself exactly where he was the day before, only at a room with a door.

  
What if I told you what if I said that I love you  
How would you feel what would you think  
What would we do  
Do we dare to cross that line between your heart and mine  
I've always wondered from the day we met  
  


            He stood outside the door and yelled to her. "Lina let me in! There's something I have to ask you."

            "You said what you wanted to now go!"

            "I wasn't finished!" Zel screamed angrily.

            "Then finish!"

            There was a long pause. When Zel had regained his composure he said, "You have to let me inside first."

Lina unlocked the door and Zel walked in. He saw her face was soaking wet. She turned her back to him. "Go ahead, talk"

Zel gulped hard then began. [Well here goes nothing.] "Lina, I want you to come with me. I can't leave you behind anymore."

"Zel?"

"I care for you too much to see you hurt anymore. I want to protect you, and I want you to be there when I am returned to my human state so you can love me."

"Zel… forget that stupid cure. I do love you, and I think you're perfect how you are; your humanity would not make a difference to me. But, if you don't like your body then it's up to you to make that decision on turning it back."

"You really think my body is fine?"

Lina nodded. "I didn't think you could ever love me because of my flat chest…"

"Who said that? You're beautiful!"

"Gourry"

"Well keep in mind Gourry loves to tease and he doesn't care for you like that."

"I guess"

There was another long silence. "Um… Lina. I don't want you to be lonely anymore."

Lina pulled Zel down by his cape and gently kissed him. "Nor I you. I love you, Zel."

"I love you too Lina. Always have, always will." They held each other tight knowing they'd never have to be lonely again.

What if I said  
What if I said  
What if I said

So…whadaya think? Like I said, I want feedback (positive and negative)!


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